When the heart hurts …

“If your heart hurts a little after letting go of someone, that’s okay. It just means that your feelings were genuine. No one like ends and no one likes pain πŸ™‚ But sometimes we have to put things that were once good to an end after they turn toxic to our well-being. Not every new beginning is meant to last forever. And not every person who walks into your life is meant to stay. ” – Najwa Zebian

I have enough crying. I have enough trying. I was enough holding emotion and trying to understand those who don’t even try to understand me πŸ™‚ It’s not like I’m not trying, everyday I try to brings down my expectations, trying to give you a beautiful fake smile, and today i finally give up. Dropped my fake smile as a tear ran down my cheek and I whispered myself “I can’t do this anymore, this is too hurt .. this heart can not hold any longer to have such a pain everyday”

I did what i think is the most reasonable thing to do. It’s the most stupid thing that i’ll ever do. It does. And i feel bad about it. I really am. And why should i feel bad about this 😦 Why should I ? 😦 Because when it hurts someone you care, somehow, your heart is also hurt 😦

Was it relieve you ? A less yes but more not really. Things will never be the same. I can not turn back time and hoping that everything is ok, because no it’s not. And this is hurt. It’s really hurt but I realize it hurts more to hold on.

I apologize because I want to share the sadness that i have. I apologize because I want this pain should not only belong to me. I apologize for making tears down not only from my eyes. I apologize for sharing stories that ripped your heart. I never want to do this, but I can not pretend anymore. I just can’t. And I’m really sorry.

Tere.

 

7 comments

  1. Peluk.
    Tapi yang kamu share kayak menyuarakan apa yang ada di hatiku. Walau mgk untuk kasus yang jauh berbeda.
    Sekali lagi peluk. Peluk yang erat. Peluk sangat erat

    1. Thank youuu Mbaknyaaaa ^^

  2. Dear kak Tere,

    I dont know you in person but i really like to read what you share, so i’ve been visiting your blog this past years. I am sorry that you have to go through this difficult times, lost your loved one and also about your health condition. But please hang in there. Jangan menyerah ya kak. Mungkin masa sekarang memang terlihat sulit bangeeet buat di lalui tapi kak Tere harus beriman kalo hari depan akan lebih baik. Right now, you think you wont survive, but hang in there! You will always make it through. Kak Tere please jgn hanya terfokus sama masalah tp alihkan perhatian ke hal2 lain untuk di syukuri. Memang we cant be happy everyday but there are things to be happy for everday. Semangat kak Tere!

    1. Dear Cindy, Thank you for dropping comments and spare your valuable time for reading this post. You don’t know how much i appreciate it .. Thank you for writing such a kind letter to me :’) You are a good person, thank you πŸ™‚ *ngembeng mewek

  3. […] When the heart hurts … […]

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